we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
