ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
