He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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