Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
