I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
