I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize