Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
