Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
