I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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