"it" just moved
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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