In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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