Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
