you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
