Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
