Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
