the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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