from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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