before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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