absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
