We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
