after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize