If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
