Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
