i don't like sucking hair
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
