is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize