My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
