I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
