I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
