Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's like God shit irony all over that family
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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