Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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