question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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