:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
