Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize