someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
