You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
is this the sara with the beer cane?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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