if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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