You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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