This girl is more easily done than said...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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