You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize