doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
