problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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