she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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