his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
