When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
