Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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