i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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