I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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