she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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