bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When are your genitals available?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
