I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize