How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I don't deserve a penis
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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