Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
my poor anus
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
