he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
