3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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