just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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