Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
