glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
