I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
nutella sex= disaster
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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